anxiety Archives - YogaTalk

RESISTANCE

June 23, 2018

Have you ever wondered why, when someone asks something of you, you say no when really you wanted to say yes but just couldn’t bring yourself to do it? Or you find yourself doing something you really didn’t want to do because you just couldn’t say no?

It happens to everyone at some time or another!

Are we resisting or pushing back because we feel we have no option, by agreeing to do something we have no desire to do – or are we resisting what we need for ourselves. Do we even know the difference?

Our busy lifestyles these days give us no room for thought. Our minds are full of information, things to remember, jobs that mustn’t be forgotten. Kit and I often call it the ‘monkey chatter’ In yogic terms the ‘Vritti’ when the brain won’t stop working overtime and the list gets longer but there’s no space to make sense of it all. We become overwhelmed and anxious, not knowing what to do first, our sleep is affected which makes us tired and inefficient. So the downward spiral continues.

How do we make it stop?

I would say this wouldn’t I but one answer is to get down on the yoga mat, taking the focus away from the chatter. Focus on the gentle soft breathing, relaxing the mind and the body. If the body refuses to stay still, try a walking meditation or a soft and slow yoga practice. As the mind wanders, acknowledge the thought, then park it and bring the attention back to the breath. This can be a real challenge for many of us when the chatter is so loud it drowns out the clearest logic. Don’t give up on yourself.

Resistance can be both the ying and the yang. We can inadvertently resist the things that are good for us, or control it and use that gift to help us bring some positive change to our behaviour patterns.

Yoga off the mat can be just as valuable as yoga on the mat. Finding the balance is the tricky bit. We don’t always have to be physically still to enjoy the practice of stillness and meditation. Take a moment here and there to offer the mind a little space. Sometimes resisting the urge to carry on with the immediate task – taking a moment from time to time to adjust, to enjoy, to breathe, to notice the everyday splendour in the smallest of things. For me, it gives a sense of purpose for our very existence.

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JUDGEMENT

June 17, 2018

Why do we do it? There’s no denying it! We judge ourselves for our actions, we judge our partners and friends for theirs, we even judge those who we don’t even know. We say they’re too fat, too thin, too brown, too silly, and so on and so on…..

As discerning human beings with opinions and intellect we constantly make decisions and choices. It’s part of who we are. Decisions are an important part of everyday living. We live better lives because of them….or do we?

Sometimes our inner decision-making skills are off kilter, for all sorts of reasons. We forget to ask ourselves why we feel something is better for us. We find ourselves caught up in wanting to make decisions and choices for others because it’s our own preference, not theirs. We justify it by saying “It’s for their own good” or, “I know what’s best for them”. Effectively taking away the power to make decisions for themselves. I pose the question – Should we do this?

No doubt, there are times to look after our children or loved ones that are in need of care. But being lost to the capability of keeping themselves safe enables us to take on the role of ‘keeper’ or ‘parent’. When we notice changes occur and they are stronger and more capable, we can choose to back off from our temporary role.

As the receiver of this kindness we may begin to rely on others to take care of all our decisions, becoming less responsible for our own actions and happy to pass on this mantle to anyone who will accept it for us.

As the giver do we feel comfortable to continue to fulfil a desire in us that makes us feel needed, unaware that we are taking someone’s independence away from them – albeit with their blessing and consent, even their gratitude.

It can become obvious in the yoga class. A regular cue of mine is to take things easy, not doing anything that doesn’t feel appropriate or backing off when the body decides it has had enough. In truth, few people are aware of their bodies and what they need or feel. They are mostly happy to push through a degree of pain in order to achieve what the teacher is asking of them. In other words, ‘Let the teacher decide what’s good for me’ – opting out of taking the decision to be responsible for themselves.

There is no better reward as a teacher to see a dozen different students doing a dozen different things from the same instructions – all of them independently aware that their bodies are requiring something slightly different at that moment in time – without competition or enquiry. Not so much on other occasions.

The yoga class is the perfect environment to get in touch with the responses and reactions of the body and mind. To be aware that the mind and all its chatter can be so bossy it takes over and doesn’t always allow us to feel what’s best for us. It makes us compete with ourselves and others. It makes a poor judgement call, feeding the ego rather than the soul. We can use the term ‘Ahimsa’ (Sanskrit for non-harming or non-violence) to bring our awareness back to the relevance of the here and now, empowering us to make the best judgment call for ourselves. To know that judging others or making judgment calls for them is not always the kindest thing to do. In practicing Ahimsa and awareness we can be in a more informed place to decide what’s best for us. By example, help those close to us to be responsible for their own decisions, supporting their choices to encourage confidence and personal growth.

The reward may not be as instant but over time it’s a win/win. We then have confident and well-adjusted family and friends around us to support us to make our own choices when we face challenges, rather than make poor decisions for us.

I hope this blog has been as thought provoking for you as it has for me. Giving ourselves space for thought before we rush in and inadvertently force our judgment on others may be one of the kindest ways of practicing our yoga off the mat.

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BREATHE

January 27, 2018

STOP. CLOSE YOUR EYES AND TRY HOLDING YOUR BREATH…

How long? Probably… not… that… long.

That was just to remind us how breath is fundamental to life – when denied it we die, yet we can so easy undervalue it.

Our brain controls respiration automatically. The body breathes itself without us doing anything. We don’t have to think about it, so we get on with life – which is obviously extremely useful!

So because we don’t need to remember to breathe it’s very easy to overlook it.

Yet how we are breathing from moment to moment directly affects our health and well-being. It affects how we think, feel and function. This puts a lot of power in our control, so it is very foolish to overlook it… I hope this writing is a reminder for us all not to do this.

How well we are at that time is reflected in our manner of breathing.

An ideal respiration perfectly suits whatever we are doing. Some actions require more oxygen than others.

When feeling short of breath we might breathe through the mouth for a faster intake of oxygen, but generally we are designed to breathe through the nose.

The nose warms and filters the breath. The nostrils take turns to be dominant.

Certain physical factors can lead to mouth breathing, but it is also commonly a result of habit.

I am a habitual mouth breather, and sometimes to breathe through the nose can feel very claustrophobic!

Fortunately, better breathing patterns can be reclaimed with benevolent patience. I do try and notice, but at times such as during sleep I too easily slip back into my habit.

A person may be unaware how they are compromising their breathing by falling into such a habit. Or maybe they do know what harm they’re causing through a habit like smoking – but the urge to smoke has greater power than the desire to stop.

We can easily adapt to the unnaturalness of things like smoking.

Unnatural things can come to feel like normal. Addiction always has a price.

Adaptability is a positive human quality, but we can adapt to bad routines as well as good ones.

Quality and rhythm of breath affect mental state. An erratic breath can unsteady; a full deep breath can empower; a soft and long exhalation can calm the nervous system and help quieten the mind.

It is empowering to be aware of this, recognise when there’s a need for it, and put it into practice.

Poor breathing habits can creep up on us gradually. Then when muscles and fascia of belly and ribcage become stiff and resistant, the poor lungs will simply forget what a full deep breath feels like, because it just feels like normal, and the new normal is rubbish.

Better habits are easily rediscovered, with patience, with practice and a dollop of good humour to help make them stick.

The soft belly has associations with instinct and emotion – in other words, gut feelings.

We may tighten the abdomen whilst managing a stressful situation, then when the crisis has passed forget to let go of it.

Letting go of the belly during restful inhalation massages abdominal organs, exercises the diaphragm, and soothes and helps calm us – if we remember to do it!

Restoration can be rapid, but be prepared for the potential surge of strong emotion upon such unfamiliar releases of tension. Do not underestimate the power of the breath.

Fast and shallow breathing may be perfect for a quick response in urgent action, but continued for more than a short period it causes strain and malaise.

Breathing as if under stress long after stress has gone, will manifest in most unfortunate ways.

Living under chronic stress will kill us in the end.

Tragically, many of us do have poor and stressful patterns of breathing. I know this from personal experience and from teaching yoga. It seems even more tragic when it’s avoidable.

One could spend a lifetime paying the breath little attention, unaware of the force we have within us.

Optimum respiration is much more than an efficient processing of gases; it is a key to health and happiness. All we have to do is appreciate and notice.

PRACTICE

A STANDING PRACTICE

May 28, 2017

We can occasionally find opportunity to do nothing but stand empty-handed.

We can make the best of a waiting or queueing situation.

Length will vary, with each occasion different. 15 minutes is a long stand, but 2 is still useful. Take advantage of such moments throughout the day. Let what begins as conscious effort become intuitive, until it no longer feels like practice.

Don’t expect every practice to be interesting or enjoyable. Even when we’re not waiting for something, restlessness and agitation can still be a challenge.

Obvious influencing factors are footwear, clothing, environment and circumstance – pleasant or otherwise.

Recognise inconspicuous opportunities in public or in private – especially when barefoot.

Wherever we are, however we feel, a practice can be beneficial to mind state and comfort in standing.

Why not try it now, let’s begin…

Sense the freedom of a pause from action, and interaction.

Put down bags, be empty-handed.

Become aware of breathing.

Let yourself settle, grow and widen.

Release the jaw, gaze at nothing in particular, eyes relaxed or closed.

If in public, be inconspicuous and pause from interaction.

Stand on both feet equally; let surroundings fade into background.

Notice the feet. Feel their floor contact, and their comfort or discomfort. Allow the toes to wriggle if possible.

Rock on the feet slightly: forward, back, all round. Imagine them even springier and stronger.

Let the heels lift slightly by pressing the balls of the feet down, and then settle, no longer moving but relaxing.

Focus from the waist downwards. Are the buttocks clenching too tightly? Are you holding-on too much in the belly?

Try not to let overtight leg muscles push the knees back.

Relax the legs as much as possible but keep the feet springy.

Loosen the hands, and allow the shoulders to let go of the arms.

Play with how weight distributes around your feet. Can you relax more and resist standing stiffly?

Optimise muscular action, in the buttocks, the abdomen, and the muscles around the waist. Rather, let them collaborate in more effortless standing.

Bringing your attention to the ribcage; sense its volume. Feel it move with the breathing. Allow the back to widen.

Notice armpits. Bend the arms slightly, then relax them.

Permit the head to lightly nod, rotate, then settle, with chin level.

Feel the head float up – imagine it weightless. Let jaws, lips and face relax. Back of neck soft. Imagine the eyes themselves softly smiling.

All below the waist is anchored by gravity, whilst all above can release up, like a plant toward sunlight.

Resist trying. Can you enjoy the energy and vitality of effortless standing?

When you sense the time to stop, let the breath deepen.

Let ears listen and eyes look. Take in surroundings. Then, till the next time, move on.

See OUR ARTICLES ON STANDING

PRACTICE

A PAUSING PRACTICE

May 28, 2017

We can only feel the benefits of a practice by remembering to do it on a regular basis.

Resolve to allow yourself pauses throughout the day, until it becomes part of what you unconsciously do. The challenge is largely remembering to do it.

It’s too easy to not make room for these practices, by feeling we can’t spare the time – even though they’re enjoyable and beneficial, helping us to function so much better. We actually save time in the long run.

(Like other practices, this will soon also be available as a podcast.)

The Practice

Recognise a natural pause, a short break from action.

If upright, stand still; if tired sit down.

If clutching something, put it down. Be empty-handed and open-hearted, and welcome this space.

Notice the breath, which reflects how you are feeling. If you are stressed or have been rushing, allow the out-breath to soften; this will help reduce the heart rate.

Sigh a few deeper breaths out through the mouth, as if exhaling for now the cares of the day.

Remove any glasses to give your eyes a break. If the face feels tight, yawn and stretch it, then relax.

Allow the shoulders to drop and release the weight of the arms. Relax the hands. Let the head float up, jaw releasing, back of neck softening.

Take a moment to attune your senses. Feel your body breathing. Notice sounds, smells, temperature, and the contact of clothing on skin.

With relaxed gaze, take in your surroundings. If outdoors, notice wind and weather.

It is possible to become entirely absorbed in these moments, a central calm in the maelstrom of a changing day.

From what are you pausing? What kind of thoughts have you been thinking? Have they been a good influence on your behaviour so far today? Notice thoughts which come whilst you pause.

Imagine inhaling everything you need right now, to help improve and make the best of your day. Breath in what’s helpful, breath out what isn’t.

Move on when ready, restored by this pause… until the next opportunity.

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The power of rest

May 15, 2017

Nervous energy keeping you awake… insomnia… high anxiety…

Sound familiar? Wouldn’t you like to wave them goodbye, and say hello to well-balanced harmony, and proper sleep?

Please do check out our related Yogatalk articles and practices, on recovering sleep and rest.

You might think that me being a yoga teacher makes me forever bright-eyed, bushy-tailed and superfit… Wrong!!

Quite honestly, I have a string of health issues and a history of addictive tendencies and anxiety.

I really don’t mind admitting this, because when people see me well and happy they must then conclude that yoga actually works – saving me from myself!

Joy and I teach yoga so we can share with people these simple ways to keep fit and well. This website is our way to try and cast the net a little further.

Lack of rest and sleep is a growing malady for the world; its proportions are endemic, especially it seems for the young. Too many teenage brains are in a constant device-checking default mode, even throughout the night!

So these poor frazzled brains have acquired minimal attention spans; they’ve forgotten how to rest and even how to sleep… and they’ve still got adulthood to come!

Alarmingly, we can grow accustomed to this compromised state, and regard it as normal.

Yoga’s focus on vitality and energy, which I love, makes modern science fascinating to me.

I read in the New Scientist (a kind friend gives me her old ones – I read them and pass them on to others) that our present age is being called the Anthropocene, viewed as the period when human activity is having a significant impact upon our planet, and all its occupants.

Scientific data confirms that more and more of us are living in the realm of the walking unwell. Modern neuroscience has raised awareness (useful but alarming) of the link between lack of rest and poor health.

Lack of sleep and rest really is torture.

There’s a growing interest in how the 24-hour cycle (or the circadian rhythm) affects health, and a growing consensus that we tick along to not one, but thousands of body clocks. Understanding this can improve lives.

It’s now no longer trendy to burn the candle at both ends – hurrah!

And we should now be encouraging our exhausted teens to stay up late, and to rise late… this suits them better, apparently.

Modern science is finally catching up with yoga teachings as a route to health. If we know what to do, and feel inspired to do it, we all have the power within to keep well. Yoga is joyful, not austere, and inspires us to practise.

As I said, I’m no stranger to anxiety. I was an anxious child, but I developed numerous strategies in order to cope.

Years later, in my first ever yoga class, I was reminded of some of these nuggets, and I thought, ‘So it’s called yoga – seems familiar!’ The point being that I could have avoided years of anxiety, just by remembering – or by taking up yoga sooner.

Feel free to check out ‘A resting practice’, which my childhood experiences helped to formulate.

A practice can help positive overcome negative. It can help quell that anxiety of being wide awake at 3 when the alarm is set for 6.

Once free from fretting and mental clamour, we can just savour the peace of a new dawn. We can slip back into lovely sleep, or just happily rest and listen to the blackbirds.

Ps the practical reminder ‘A resting practice’ will soon also be available as a podcast, along with others… so watch this space!!