stop practice Archives

RESISTANCE

June 23, 2018

Have you ever wondered why, when someone asks something of you, you say no when really you wanted to say yes but just couldn’t bring yourself to do it? Or you find yourself doing something you really didn’t want to do because you just couldn’t say no?

It happens to everyone at some time or another!

Are we resisting or pushing back because we feel we have no option, by agreeing to do something we have no desire to do – or are we resisting what we need for ourselves. Do we even know the difference?

Our busy lifestyles these days give us no room for thought. Our minds are full of information, things to remember, jobs that mustn’t be forgotten. Kit and I often call it the ‘monkey chatter’ In yogic terms the ‘Vritti’ when the brain won’t stop working overtime and the list gets longer but there’s no space to make sense of it all. We become overwhelmed and anxious, not knowing what to do first, our sleep is affected which makes us tired and inefficient. So the downward spiral continues.

How do we make it stop?

I would say this wouldn’t I but one answer is to get down on the yoga mat, taking the focus away from the chatter. Focus on the gentle soft breathing, relaxing the mind and the body. If the body refuses to stay still, try a walking meditation or a soft and slow yoga practice. As the mind wanders, acknowledge the thought, then park it and bring the attention back to the breath. This can be a real challenge for many of us when the chatter is so loud it drowns out the clearest logic. Don’t give up on yourself.

Resistance can be both the ying and the yang. We can inadvertently resist the things that are good for us, or control it and use that gift to help us bring some positive change to our behaviour patterns.

Yoga off the mat can be just as valuable as yoga on the mat. Finding the balance is the tricky bit. We don’t always have to be physically still to enjoy the practice of stillness and meditation. Take a moment here and there to offer the mind a little space. Sometimes resisting the urge to carry on with the immediate task – taking a moment from time to time to adjust, to enjoy, to breathe, to notice the everyday splendour in the smallest of things. For me, it gives a sense of purpose for our very existence.

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SPLENDID REMINDER

January 4, 2018

Right now, Spring seems a long way off. The winter has made itself known. We’ve had snow, ice, rainy days and many early morning frosts. As I write this I am berating myself for being so ‘narrow minded’ for not noticing these gorgeous scenes. We have some of the most beautiful sun rises. The crisp and fresh days walking in the park is a sheer delight. The berries on the trees are at their best.

There’s no doubt that when the spring arrives it will be very welcome. However, I’m giving myself a nudge to remind myself of the splendour of all the ordinary things that are all around us here in this present moment. I don’t want to wish the days away, I want to notice what’s good in the here and now. In fact it’s the only thing that is a real certainty. A moveable feast of splendid moments – If we choose to recognise them as such.

The image used for this blog illustrates the point perfectly. Taken by my lovely friend Anne, looking through the window at the dark, winter evening of busy traffic. Just notice the colours, the contrast, the energy, and the cosiness of being in the warm and dry on the other side of the window.

We see things like this every day and let them pass by without a thought. No point in wondering what I’ve missed today – there will be so much more to see tomorrow.

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SCREAM SHOUT LET IT ALL OUT

January 4, 2018

If you were to ask me if I felt happy, my usual reaction would be to say yes. However, there is a subconscious thing that happens to me that I must be aware of. Often, if I stop to think, I can gauge my level of happiness by how much noise I make. Is this odd? Is it just me? I realised some time ago that a true sign of my happiness is indicated by me tending to sing out loud. I was inspired to write this because I was caught unawares today, singing out loud in the car park.

I was on the way to a yoga class – normal Tuesday evening activity, slightly buoyed up by the closeness of Christmas holidays looming and the infectious chit chat of festivities and parties.

Strangely I hadn’t even noticed that I was singing until a fellow enthusiast commented how cheerful I sounded. (In truth, my tone is questionable, so maybe he was quietly amused by my cringe-worthy squeaks).

I laughed it off saying there was a party happening in my head and I was just joining in! This is often the case if I’m honest. BUT! It got me thinking…….

The action of making noise and hearing noise can really change the mood. I suppose it’s obvious if we think about it. We purposely listen to our favourite tunes and artists – the ones who really can sing – They lift our spirits, relax our brains, set us up for the lively night out or just tick along in the background offering some form of comfort or company.

If you’re like me you’ll often find yourself humming along quietly and before long, belting out the decibels as if we were on ‘Top of the Pops’. How good does that feel? Seriously good eh?

It’s brought back fond memories to me of when my brother and I used to drive along with the car windows down singing to the Eagles at the top of our voices. Wherever we went, we always arrived with a smile on our faces.

It’s not just the chemical reactions and release of feel good endorphins, but maybe the ability to express ourselves without inhibition, or even the change in tempo of our breathing. It’s kind of like exercising the vocals.

Whatever the combination of reactions in the body or brain, it certainly feels good.

Next time you’re tempted to let it all out, take a moment to notice how fabulous and free it feels. Take it to the mic and karaoke to your hearts content. It will make you smile…..and probably make everyone around you smile too.

La-de-da!!

PRACTICE

A RED DOT STOP PRACTICE TO LOOK AROUND

September 10, 2017

For an introduction to the STOP PRACTICES see Kit’s blog-STARTING TO STOP.

This is a practical reminder to stop and notice what’s happening around us at the time. It helps bring us into the moment and improves the quality of our attention.

To effect these stops, the practice uses the Red Dot method:

Put a dot on the palm of your hand with indelible ink. Whenever you notice the dot, pause for a few breaths.

The dot could be on either palm… try it both ways. Seeing one palm too frequently may not help the practice – it’s for you to decide.

The dot can be any colour; I use red because of its association with traffic lights.

The red dot is mostly used for short stops, whereas this practice is a good one when we have time for longer pauses.

The practice

When you notice the dot, if time allows, stop to pause for up to one minute. Sit down somewhere if this helps you feel more discreet.

Take your attention inwards.

Drop the shoulders. Relax the face and back of neck.

Let the out-breaths soften and the in-breaths deepen.

Move your attention outwards. Look directly ahead. Notice what you see.

After some moments, allow your head to turn and look around.

Allow your gaze to discreetly take in any people or animals who are about.

Observe their movements and their manner, without judgement and with compassion. If you can, do this without them noticing.

Do they seem comfortable and at ease with themselves? Do they seem skilful in how they stand, sit, lie or move around?

Now shift your attention to any wider landscape – inside or outside, urban or rural, natural or man-made, day or night.

Experience these surroundings as if for the very first time.

If you can see the sky, observe any drifting clouds.

Vary your field of vision, between close up and far away.

Take in the quality of colours, of light and dark, and then begin to notice sounds.

Move your head to receive individual sounds, both close up and far away.

Now, along with sight and sound, begin to take in smells.

Let all your senses collaborate in a heightened experience of time and place.

Feel the smallness of self amid the vastness of space.

Sense the shortness of these moments in the long long age of earth.

Allow yourself to marvel at our unique and ever-changing world.

And when you’re ready, resume action and move on.

OTHER RED DOT STOP PRACTICES

A red dot stop practice to improve present state of mind

A red dot stop practice to think of someone

PRACTICE

A RED DOT STOP PRACTICE TO THINK OF SOMEONE

September 10, 2017

For an introduction to STOP PRACTICES see Kit’s blog-STARTING TO STOP.

This practical reminder helps us to stop being wrapped up in our own needs and desires.

It’s an exercise in unselfishness: since, like our bodies, such things improve by regular use.

It involves stopping to call someone to mind.

It could be more than one person; perhaps a family, household, establishment, community or town. It could even be a whole nation or race.

It could be a person or people you’re feeling estranged from. Someone you have difficulty liking or getting along with. Someone perhaps who is causing you problems.

The practice can change how you feel about them, and help how you respond the next time you meet.

It could be a person or people for whom the day is significant. Perhaps a day of celebration or particular challenge. Perhaps they’re sick or just having a hard time.

To effect these stops, the practice uses the Red Dot method:

Put a dot on the palm of your hand with indelible ink. Whenever you notice the dot, pause for a few breaths.

The dot could be on either palm… try it both ways. Seeing one palm too frequently may not help the practice – it’s for you to decide.

The dot can be any colour; I use red because of its association with traffic lights.

It’s helpful to decide the subject/subjects of your practice beforehand.

This allows you to proceed without too much extra thinking.

Read the practice through a few times, perhaps before sleeping and again in the morning, with a view to practising it over the coming day.

Soak up what you remember and make it your own.

The Practice

When you notice the dot, pause from action for a few breaths.

Drop the shoulders. Relax the face and back of neck.

Notice your breath. Let your exhales soften and your inhales deepen.

Call an image of your subject/subjects to your mind’s eye. Imagine looking down upon them from the sky.

You might even picture them clearly in a particular location if you know what they’re doing at that time.

Say their name in your head or voice it softly.

Take some deep and easy breaths.

Imagine a white healing light all around you.

As with love and compassion, the light is inexhaustible… not like some commodity which when used up is then unavailable. It existed before humanity and will remain afterwards. If we’re lucky we can have it and use it.

Draw in the light through your breath and your skin.

Feel it soak into every space, molecule and atom.

Feel that the light is enlivening you.

Now direct it to them.

Imagine them healed by the light. Imagine it guiding and helping their day.

Along with the light, send well wishes and good intentions.

You too have experienced this healing power of light.

Become aware of your surroundings. Feel yourself firmly rooted in your landscape.

Look around. Notice sounds.

And when you’re ready, resume action and move on.

OTHER STOP PRACTICES

A red dot stop practice to improve present state of mind

A red dot stop practice to look around

PRACTICE

A RED DOT STOP PRACTICE TO IMPROVE PRESENT STATE OF MIND

September 10, 2017

For an introduction to the STOP PRACTICES read Kit’s blog-STARTING TO STOP.

This practical reminder uses breath awareness to restore equilibrium. It helps how we respond to ourselves, and to whatever’s happening around us.

It can prove an effective and immediate balm, even for an anxious frame of mind.

To effect these stops, the practice uses the Red Dot method:

Put a dot on the palm of your hand with indelible ink. Whenever you notice the dot, pause for a few breaths.

The dot could be on either palm… try it both ways. Seeing one palm too frequently may not help the practice – it’s for you to decide.

The dot can be any colour; I use red because of its association with traffic lights.

How we are breathing is a reflection of our condition. This means we can consciously influence our immediate physical/mental state through our manner of breathing, ie; A softer exhale tells the vagus nerve to slow the heartbeat.

Consequently, this is an effective tool for more skilful and attuned self-management. It is first-hand experience of the intimate links between thought, feeling, muscular/mental tension and breath.

Read the practice through a few times, perhaps before sleeping and again in the morning, with a view to practising it over the coming day.

We suggest below several visualisations; choose just one for each single pause.

Soak up what you remember and make it your own.

The practice

When you notice the dot, pause from action for a few breaths. Each breath is an opportunity for inspiration.

Drop the shoulders. Relax the face and back of neck.

Notice your breath. Let your exhales soften and your inhales deepen.

Breathe yourself into here and now. Let your breathing keep you in these moments.

Focus on today. Let go of yesterdays and tomorrows.

The breath is solar energy. Breathe it. Absorb it through your skin.

Our solar cycle both gives us vigour and helps us to rest.

Inhale vitality right down into your fingers and toes.

Draw power into every molecule and atom.

The breath is a quickening wind to clear away self-deception.

Be unafraid to breathe it deeply. Inhale into your head; let it brighten eyes with which to see yourself more clearly.

Have it blow away cobwebs from your mind.

The breath is a light of understanding, bringing wisdom to your daily thoughts and actions. Let it enlighten today’s decisions.

Bathe in the light and let it guide your choices.

The breath is perception to show what lies behind our own and others’ actions.

Soak up insight with your inhales.

Let it help your interactions with yourself and with the world.

The breath is a friend who gives us courage to face challenge.

Inhale the resolve to try and do what’s right, even when others think us wrong.

Let this help you live a virtuous and good life – of being true to yourself.

The breath is compassion, even when times are hard and life unkind.

Inhale into your heart the love that melts away negative emotions.

Accept that a life less anxious is indeed a life more kind.

The breath is forgiveness. It helps heal our wounds.

Inhale generosity of spirit.

Be reminded that it can be hard to live a humane life.

The breath is dynamic and cheerful, helping us to be less serious.

Let inhales lift your spirit and lighten any heaviness of heart.

Remember that even the happiest will know some sadness – joys and sorrows are just part of life.

Breath is revelation: that our fears can root us to the spot or send us fleeing for refuge… why not let the exhales dissolve anxieties, which hold you back and stop you enjoying this splendid life?

The breath is harmony. Why not be comfortable in your skin and at ease within?

Inhale peace. Be at peace.

Feel connected, be connected, stay connected… this is your world.

Do you feel refreshed?

When you’re ready, resume action and move on.

OTHER STOP PRACTICES

A red dot stop practice to think of someone

A red dot stop practice to look around

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STARTING TO STOP

September 10, 2017

Here are some personal musings on my ‘stop’ practices – how they came about, and how they still help to save me from my sometimes reckless self.

There are some in our practice suggestions, they’re extremely helpful; try some yourself?

My natural enthusiasm can make me excitable, sometimes impetuous. This has landed me in the soup more than once!

And yet some of my best decisions have been spontaneous. Perhaps they were made by a more perceptive, more attuned self.

What I now call my ‘stop’ practices have been gradually forming over years. They are my own attempts to restore equilibrium and tap into this right-minded self.

I think of these ‘stops’ as conscious pause from action: breathing space to reflect on something specific or nothing very much, which can take only moments.

A pause is as natural as breath, but unlike breathing we can forget to do it. A pause can ‘reset’ an overwrought brain back to a restorative default mode, like a pleasant daydream.

At times, life may seem too busy to stop… so we don’t, which is a shame. When not-stopping becomes the norm, a habit is formed.

When we start to feel the benefits of a regular pause, it seems crazy that we haven’t done it more. But then we’re human – complex and, yes, a bit crazy!

Sometimes we need to consciously practice something we’ve neglected, until it’s part of our life again.

Regular stops can make us more skilled at improving our mind-state. This skill is especially handy when the mind is anxious and we lack mental equilibrium.

Sometimes a short pause is all that’s needed to produce better immediate responses.

It creates mental space for a wiser choice – as against a knee-jerk reaction, which may be later regretted. A mental space to step into, helping us to do or say the right thing; a chance to step back and see the bigger picture, or even to turn and choose another direction. Of course ‘think before you act’ is a wise maxim, but when we’re not in the best state, responding in a wise and measured way isn’t that easy.

I find my stops so useful that I pass the method on whenever I can… call it yoga – or plain common sense!

In hindsight I can see how it all started. My stops began to form in early childhood. I can see my teenage self – chewing sixteen times, pausing, then swallowing, because (and guess what, it still happens!) she bolts her food like a gannet. She snacks whilst she’s waiting for a snack. When eating one meal she’s thinking about the next. And she’s quite capable of finishing the whole packet – bang, it’s gone! What was that about a pause?

Our past colours our present; our present colours our future.

The river of instant sensory gratification runs right through me, and it can easily break its banks.

Childhood compulsions can grow into habits, leading to needy, addicted adults.

So, managing desire is obviously a big part of yoga.

Small personal challenges are part of being human – but the scale can vary a bit!

The child breaks a toy, the adult crashes a car. The child has a tantrum, the adult commits murder. The children have a gang fight, the adults wage war.

Aiming for a more attuned self-awareness will help our self-management, making better citizens and a more harmonious world.

Some stop practices come from my early childhood. STOPPING TO THINK ABOUT SOMEONE is a personal favourite and stems from my catholic upbringing, where stops for reflection and prayer featured much.

I never liked the religious tendency to mark anniversaries of deaths, but I love my mother’s version, which focuses on the living: think of someone for whom this day is important, and say a wee prayer.

The prayer seems more potent if you say it at the exact time of a situation – (marriage, starting a new job, a medical procedure, imminent birth, imminent death… the list is long.)

I still like it and I still use it.

Children tend to adopt the behaviour of the adults they mix with.

As a child I learned from my mother the joy of ordinary daily splendour.

But, (like her in fact) I was much preoccupied by anticipation of future gratifications – birthdays, holidays, Christmas, or just some sweets. That’s why I now dislike the expression, ‘something to look forward to’.

Much of my personal yoga is about countering any yearnings and dissatisfaction with present situations.

Dissatisfaction is big, big business. Advertisers and media thrive on it… convincing us that we’re somehow broken, so must need fixing, that we need a makeover, that our job is boring, our home is inadequate and in the wrong place, that we won’t be happy till we escape to the country!

Yoga helps toward a clearer, less skewed picture of ourselves and the world we occupy. And one way of starting this is by stopping.

STOP PRACTICES

A red dot stop practice to improve present state of mind

A red dot stop practice to think of someone

A red dot stop practice to look around

OUR ARTICLES

ON PAUSING

May 31, 2017

Life without pause is not a life worth living.

To pause is such a simple thing – regularly done it becomes apparent that pausing is an integral part of harmonious human living.

Pausing before action is the basis of awareness. A split-second pause might be enough to inspire life-saving reaction, to let simple easy solutions spring up suddenly as if from nowhere.

A pause could stop a person in their tracks – before they say or do something later regretted.

To be able to dash about enjoying a busy life is a wonderful thing, not to be taken for granted. But being busy does not make a life more meaningful.

Busy-ness is not the same as fulfilment or accomplishment.

Compulsive repetition of unnecessary tasks does indeed become an obsession for some people; even moderate habits can grow into problems.

A pause can lend more skill to thought and action, so that more of our choices serve us well.

Does keeping busy make people feel more useful?

Perhaps fear of seeing too clearly can make us steer us away from opportunities for solitary reflection.

Encountering our thoughts can sometimes be a frightening thing – the unfortunate, mind-numbing remedy being to deny ourselves the space to stop and think.

It’s very easy to preoccupy our minds with many things clutter. We can miss many fleeting present moments dwelling on the future or the past, or occupied in thoughtless tasks.

A pause is a space to rest and evaluate, to slow us down or rouse us from a slothful state. A sense of inertia can keep us moving steadily, unthinkingly on, in the same unwise direction… or it can stop us getting up to move altogether.

Our pauses are as natural as breathing, but like proper breathing are easily sacrificed to the unwelcome pressures of daily life. Lack of pause not only compromises perceptive awareness of what is happening around us – it robs us of opportunities to absorb the daily wonder which surrounds us and links us to the living world.

This is such an exciting time to live! Fast changes in technology keep us all on our toes and tenterhooks; tech devices are now so much part of daily action that we can hardly imagine life without them. We can access things rapidly by the click of a key. Data tracks us and seems to know our preferences. Huge effort is made by manufacturers and service providers to make their products seem irresistible – thus keeping us hooked.

We can access vast amounts of digital information, but nothing is quite the same as the mentorship of human contact. Too much time and energy spent on devices reduces our ability to form meaningful relationships – it’s just plain common sense to see that this is the case. If we are not selective in using technology we risk becoming disconnected from ourselves as well as each other.

Problems with short and poor quality attention span can be offset by simply stopping to notice what is happening, allowing time enough to restfully sit and focus on nothing very much. Pauses and daydreams are a welcome default mode for the brain. Lulls or short rests give us time to absorb or reflect. They can provide insight and lend greater ease to everyday tasks. If the lack of pause starts to show then we need to expose ourselves to the chance of it, until it becomes an intuitive part of daily life.

The more I teach yoga, the more apparent it becomes that too many of us are frazzled!

A healthy level of stress is a natural part of life, it gets us up and moving to satisfy urges such as hunger –but prolonged periods in a stressful state are damaging. Sadly this is far too common, and it makes people ill. Chronic stress can too easily become a familiar companion, so that we grow into our tempers, stoops and frowns.

Conscious and regular pause helps us become more self-attuned. Taking better notice helps us respond to the multiple stresses that we face on a daily basis. We can grow stronger, flexing rather than snapping under strain.

Why be afraid to pause, to step back, to see a brighter, bigger picture?

For this can only help us to make wiser decisions, to choose paths which serve us better. And it allows space for our less fearful, more impartial, more benevolent self to emerge, positively influencing behaviour and showing ourselves and others in a more kindly and compassionate light.

Kit Hartley. Lidgett. May 2017

SEE PAUSE, CONSIDER, ENJOY

OUR ARTICLES

ON STANDING

May 28, 2017

In a volatile world the successful species are those who can evolve fast enough to continue thriving in a changing environment.

Beside the long age of earth our own species is still very young. The human primate has evolved in a short space of time, through the merit of adaptability, to become the planet’s most creative and most destructive inhabitant.

We now stand erect on hind legs, balancing our large-brained heads, able to manually grip by virtue of long, opposing thumbs.

At peak, we humans are astounding. But looking around at each other now…

How well is our species? Are we thriving?

The protection lent by footwear and clothing has revolutionised what humans can do.

But not being barefoot, and over-reliance on the support of shoes, has robbed the feet of their natural spring-power and strength.

Too much walking on hard, flat, urban floors has left us less able to cope with mixed outdoor terrain.

Gravity keeps us rooted to the fast-spinning planet. Its force pulls us down whilst we then spring upwards like plants into sunlight. But this beneficial, grounding force does not always seem good; the head may feel a heavy burden for the upright spine, the body a weight to be dragged around. And with too much chronic strain life is not lived so well.

At such times, how one thinks, breathes and moves simply gets in the way of the natural well self.

Living bones are light, but when rightly used can have the strength of reinforced concrete.

One’s weight is easily borne when fit and well.

Bones do not just resist vertical pressure well – they actually benefit from it.

Shock-absorbing discs between spinal vertebrae help counter compression.

We are tallest in the mornings after a night’s rest, becoming shorter through the day.

Moisture loss from discs over the course of the day shortens the spine. A night’s rest gives time for thirsty discs to reabsorb this moisture.

Splendid rich movement in the course of the day gives additional restoration, plumping the discs up again.

Variety of movement and adequate rest reflect the ease or unease we then have in standing for any length of time.

A well, able-bodied person can easily balance, with effortless poise, the head’s weight on the top of the spine.

The spine’s curves are a spring for bouncing back – but with too much hardship in life these curves can develop too much or too little to give adequate support.

Without the spring in our step we are no longer able to absorb the shock of anything more than restricted basic movements.

How well we are becomes apparent when just standing still.

Our phenomenal body-mind can feel vibrant and vital, grounded but weightless, flexible and strong.

The spine is our tower of strength. When it isn’t, our freedom has gone.

SEE STANDING PRACTICE

Kit Hartley. Lidgett. May 2017

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PAUSE, CONSIDER, ENJOY !

May 16, 2017

Pause, Consider, Enjoy!

We are all living in an increasingly busier world. We want to get where we’re going more quickly. We want to make more out of the day. We want to achieve something meaningful before our heads fall onto the pillow every evening.

If you’re like me you can forget to pause for a moment and simply enjoy what you are doing. That may even mean enjoying doing nothing at all. So many of us consider this to be a waste of our precious time.

More and more I am learning to stop and consider how precious is life really – if I’m filling the day with tasks that ‘need’ completing or doing something else that I consider urgent or must be achieved before my next supposed vitally important appointment!

I ask myself – ‘What would happen if that job just didn’t get done?’ In truth the answer is ‘Very little’… nobody would die, the world wouldn’t stop turning.

Realistically we all have to get on with the daily chores of working and living, but making the time to pause for a moment can mean the difference between a life well lived or a life rushed by without attention to all of our needs.

Jumping off the rat race isn’t a treat. It’s what we all need to maintain that all important work-life balance. Having a little pleasure every day means we don’t crave the costly and special indulgences at the weekend.

Even better, it doesn’t have to cost a penny. Take a break in the day to enjoy the spring sunshine as you walk down the high street or in the park (if you’re lucky enough to be close to the new sprouting greenery of a spring day). Take pleasure from the blue sky and the warmth of the sun’s rays as they fall on the face. Enjoy the movement of the legs and feet as you place them on the ground one foot in front of the other. Marvel at the body’s ability to breath in the energy of the new day before us. Relish the pleasure of simply being able to do all of these things without issue or conscience.

Not all of us are lucky enough to be able to do everything we want to, but let’s look at what we are able to do and take thanks and pleasure in doing them.

We can then attack the rest of the day with renewed vigour and vitality. We may even achieve more than we hoped for.

SEE ARTICLE ON PAUSING